Wow.

Within ten minutes, some juicy gems flowed out of me.  Two sentences that took the powerful but doubting business woman from feeling less than, to being back in her power.

Let me share them with you.

This client of mine is currently in a coaching program with some BIG hitters.  Or at least that’s how she views it.  The gals she’s associating with make loads more money than she does, so she was sharing how she didn’t feel worthy.  She compares herself and falls short because all she can see is how financially successful these other women are.

But what I know about her is how brilliant and talented she is and how much she could teach them about her unique niche.

So I asked this question:

“What are you measuring,“ I inquired.

She told me that she had decided that she wasn’t worthy because she was measuring the difference in their incomes.  Measuring this made her feel less than, inferior, and like a big fat fraud.

“What if you measured something else,” I asked.

“What if you measured the relationships you create, or the heart you have, or the connections you make with people?  What if you measure your integrity, or your desire to step up and really make a difference in the lives of your clients?  Now are you equal to these other women?”

“Wow” she replied.  “I never thought of it like that.”

Guess what…I know most of us don’t think of it.  We base our worth and value one one measure.  Often times its how much money is rolling in.  And of course we beat ourselves up, so my challenge to you is to find at least four other things to measure yourself against.  If you can do this, you’ll very likely lighten up on that trash-talking-monkey-mind that reminds you of your lack.

As the conversation progressed she felt much better, but still had some remnants of “but look how much more successful they are” feeling.  So I told her my favorite analogy….

None of Tiger Woods’ coaches are better golfers than he is!

Do you know how refreshing it is for me to acknowledge that?  What it means to me, is that we all have our slice at what we are brilliant at. Tiger’s coaches can’t out golf him, but they can see what he can’t.  And that’s the beauty of coaching. When this client heard that, you could feel her energy shift.  When she could ‘own’ her slice of the pie, she saw how she could powerfully help these superstars in her program.  Sure, they were successful at what they were doing, but weren’t so successful in the piece that she is an expert in.

So the next time you are comparing yourself and feeling like “Who am I to be claiming to be an expert here,” I want you to imagine some guy hanging out on the green telling the greatest golfer in the world where he needs to make some changes.

Don’t ever diminish yourself.

The world needs what you have to offer, so my challenge to you is to find even more ways to step up and claim your expertise.

And I’m here to support you!

Blessings,

Therese

or “How my 10 year old coached me into getting over my fears and getting with the game of living bigger”

This is a story that I just kept writing and writing and writing, so we’ll break it up into three parts….

What if you could have a breakthrough in the most unlikely of places? What if doing one wild and crazy thing changed the way you experienced your business?

Because we are in some wacky times and almost every business owner I know has been faced with having to figure out how to get and keep clients, and how to best put forward their marketing messages. Since I’m in the middle of yet another rebranding, I’ve been experiencing some of that frustration myself. But it was all about to change….

There I was, finally facing my fears, barreling down one of those enclosed tube-style water slides, when it happened. CLARITY! It’s as if something Divine got revealed to me as I realized what a metaphor this was for not only my business, but for most business owners. Who would have thought that leaning into my HUGE fear of water slides would reveal something so symbolic and profound to me.

In that moment of surrendering to the water and where it was taking me through the black tube – I saw why so many business owners are struggling. Speeding down the tube, I even was able to see a solution! (Sort of like your life flashing before you…except I wasn’t going to the pearly gates, but to the big splash pool at the end.

Tune in tomorrow to hear how I went from a freaked out water-slide phobic mom, to a solid and grounded business owner who ‘got it’ in terms of the flow of life and business.

Okay it wasn’t a miracle as much as a breakthrough, but the results of the work are the stuff of miracles.

For me, it was magical confirmation of the power of doing of my Work with clients – allowing them to step into their greatness.  It’s kind of like turning a light on not only in their business, but inside themselves.  That was the case with Kim.

During a recently group coaching call for my Extraordinary Results Coaching Community, Kim called in for some laser coaching.

When I asked what she wanted, she was clear – “I want more belief in myself.”

You see, Kim has had tons of coaching and mentoring, and is truly brilliant.  Except that sometimes she can’t see it for herself, much like most of us.  I think it’s the curse of talented entrepreneurs.  We focus on growing our businesses, but sometimes don’t see just how amazing of results we get.  Or if we see it, we don’t OWN it.

I asked her where she was on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being fully owning her gifts and believing in what she had to offer.  She was a 7.

Here’s where it gets cool!  I asked her to find a spot on the floor in front of her where the “10″ lived.  No, not Bo Derek, but the Kim that is in the future and solidly embracing who she is and has the business that she loves.  She was instructed to slowly walk into the 8, the 9, and finally stand on the spot where the 10 of her belief in herself resided.

She stood there on the phone in her home, as I ‘called in’ for her that level of belief.  I asked her to open her arms wide and just say YES to life, YES to more money, YES to new clients, YES to abundance, and YES to belief.  In fact, everyone on the call was saying YES with her.  She totally got the integration and realized that she does have all she needs, and now had the tools to affirm that for herself.

I asked Kim to write about this experience and two days later, I got this email:

In a group coaching call, I said I wanted to walk away with 100% confidence. During that 15 minutes, not only did Therese boost my belief that I can accomplish my goals, she helped me identify that a missing piece was a willingness to receive what I was asking for.

She gave me the tools to solve that challenge and within 48 hours I received messages from a woman who wants me to teach a class for her online academy (which is filled with members of my target market), a business owner who wants to promote my upcoming teleclass to her entire network, and a multi-millionaire business woman who wants to set up a meeting to learn more about me and what I do.

Coincidence? C’mon! I think it’s simply amazing.

See what happens when we say YES to the Universe?

As a coaching question for yourself, ask what level of belief you have and how much you are allowing yourself to receive.  Bump it up!  See what happens when you do.

And if you want to see what Kim is up to – check this out cuz it’s gonna be good.

“Tweeting for Dollars (For Clueless Entrepreneurs Only)”.

http://readytoevolve.com/trainings/tweeting4dollars.html

Loving My ‘Hate’ Mail

There it was.  Right on my Facebook wall.  Not in a private message to me.  No…on the wall.  The snarkiest comment I’ve ever gotten, just sitting there for the entire FB world to see.

Earlier in the day I had written a status feed asking for some support in picking a title for a new opt in piece, and had ten wonderful folks giving their ideas.  They were kind and friendly and encouraging…all the things I know to be true about my Facebook community.

Then his message came in.  It went like this:

“I wonder, have you ever noticed how incredibly self-absorbed you are?  Everything seems to be about you, even when it appears to be about “helping” others.”

YIKES!!!!!!

In that moment, I had three thoughts running all together.

The first – “Ouch!”

The second – “What a jerk!”  (Ok, I am human and was offended)

The third – “Woo Hoo!…This means my marketing is working”

Thoughts one and two are pretty self explanatory, but this article really is about the third concept – the one that you may not have heard much about, so let me break through some of the myths of marketing here.  We all know that we want our marketing to attract our target clients, right?  But here’s the flip side…

Good marketing serves to REPEL the wrong client.

Most of us spend so much time trying to be all things to all people, hoping not to ruffle feathers, and ‘win’ clients over, that in reality, it serves only to make us invisible.

So when “G” decided to blast me, I took great comfort in that fact because he’s SO CLEARLY not my market that the fact that I pissed him off, means that who I am being is working.  See, I have made the commitment to play very full out.  That means being a bit edgy, singing karaoke, and showing who I am.  It’s all about authenticity.  And I know the “risk” of that.  When you are operating to be safe and not ruffle feathers, you fly under the radar, so would likely never get this kind of blasting.

But…you also never connect deeply with the folks that resonate with your message and appreciate your work.  The ones who need what you have to offer.

In fact, here’s a cool “God-thing.”

One minute after “G” sent this to me; I got this post on my wall:

“Hi Therese,

Just wanted to wish you a wonderful weekend! You are such an inspiration to truly live our dreams – I appreciate all your reminders – you consistently keep us motivated – and in the ‘mindset’. So glad to know you and work with you!”

This person is clearly MY TARGET MARKET so appreciates how I express myself in the world.  That’s what I want for you.  To have your ‘tribe’ clearly find you, connect with you,  and value the work you do.  Oh, then hire you as well!

Now I’m going to challenge you.

Do you have the courage to stop being bland?  Are you willing to take a position?  Trying to ‘play nice’ and get along are the rules we learned in kindergarten.  No great movement can come about when there are not courageous leaders willing to take the hits and speak up from the place of passion inside them.

Here’s my request.

Look at your website, brochures, 30 second commercial, and any other marketing material.  If someone got a hold of it, is it very clear who you serve, who you DON’T, and what you stand for?  What has to shift in you to get out from under the cloud of obscurity?  Trust me….the more you step up and play big, the more we all win.

In fact, I’m so inspired by “G’s” snarky comment that I’d love to help you in any way I can to be able to step up and stand out…and repel the folks you need to repel!  Feel free to send me your website and I’ll be happy to give it a quick scan and give you’re a mini-consult (no fee!) to tell you how you can tighten up your message.

Now go shine your light!

Ahhhhh!  I’m bumping into my ’stuff’ these days.  Why?  Because I have said YES to playing a much bigger game.  That means that I’m in massive growth mode.  Which means that I am having new experiences and am having some learning curve moments if you get my drift.    Here’s my story……

The guy could sell ice to Eskimos as they say.  I’m talking about Daniel Hall of www.SpeakersCruiseFree.com. I was at the recent “Speak Your Way To Wealth Seminar” and he was one of the speakers.  I was DETERMINED not to purchase any products, but after 20 minutes of him sharing how easy it was to get approved to speak for FREE on cruise lines, I was definitely on board.  (Pardon the pun there!)

What Daniel really sold me into was my dream.  That’s what good selling is.  I have always had a dream to be a cruise speaker, and Daniel just showed me the way……..

The dream I had was that I’d be on the high seas with an eager audience as I share all my pearls of wisdom, inspiration, business building, and lead them to personal and professional transformations.    However, through my coaching with Daniel, I learned that cruise ship passengers are not interested in my life changing message.  What they really want is to know what to do  when they arrive in Cabo San Lucas !

Mindtrap #1 – Having Unrealistic Expectations - Truthfully, I was not happy that I couldn’t do my best Wayne Dyer talk!  I EXPECTED to do things how I always do things.  Not a happy camper (or should I say cruiser) at this point.

My first coaching call with Daniel was illuminating.  I was overwhelmed at having to now pick topics.  To get booked on cruise ships, you need to have a destination driven talk, possibly a general interest talk, and/or an arts and crafts project.

OMG!  If I tell the truth, I was feeling a bit incredulous here as I began thinking about all the work I’ve done to invest in my personal and professional development, the thousands of dollars I spend a year on coaching and mentoring, and I’m supposed to teach my fellow passengers how to do a craft project?  Ahhhh…

Mindtrap #2 – Letting the Ego Go Wild – It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth.  I fancy myself as an excellent speaker/coach/motivator, and to be playing with Play Doh seemed a bit beneath me.  My ‘cockiness’ here really isn’t from arrogance as much as it’s that I’m SO committed to transforming people’s lives that I bumped into some mind chatter here that wouldn’t let me rest.

Thankfully, Daniel is an excellent coach and hung with me.  Like any good coach, he asked all the right questions designed to get me to find things in me that I couldn’t see in the moment.  As we were working to find my topics, I was stuck.  This great dream of being a cruise ship speaker was beginning to fade.  I could not see how where I was with my current focus/passion, that could translate into what the Cruise Lines would want.  I was feeling pretty discouraged because I could see the dream – to be able to cruise as often as I want, anywhere I want, with a guest…ALL FOR FREE – begin to fade.

Mindtrap #3 – Living Inside a Box – Guilty!  This is such a metaphor for where people are when they come to me with their business.  They know what they want, but can’t get outside of what they have tried, what’s familiar, or what’s even possible for them.  Thank God for Daniel cuz I was about ready to get my $$ back and give up at this point.  He started the process by asking about what I love to do.  (Singing, of course!)  He then asked me if I were to be dropped into a library and had tons of time, where would I gravitate to.  (Spirituality and Business/Marketing)  From these little nuggets he was able to suggest some talks that had the ‘destination driven’ piece the cruise lines want and match them with my passions.  Since my first cruise will be in Mexico, I may research “Crooners of Mexico” and maybe even sing some of their songs.  I can also give a talk on different spiritual practices in Mexico which energizes me to study and present.

After we hung up, and I had my coaching assignments, a little voice in my head said, “Oh my God….your dream is coming true!” I can’t tell you how amazing that feeling is because so many times we get used to accepting the loss of dreams or just learn to tolerate a life with half-lived expectations.  I know I have in the past, and I imaging that you have experienced this as well.  So let my story be an inspiration to you.  Don’t let anything get in the way of your dream!  Even arts and crafts projects……

Dream big gang!