“What the heck,” the frustrated business owner proclaimed. ” I can’t believe that my program didn’t work.  I did EVERYTHING right.  I had great copy, offered some cool benefits, and solved a problem for my market.  And price was super low.”

“But mostly, I thought I used consciousness in this one.  I prayed about it,  connected to the soul of my prospective clients, and felt all the feelings of how amazing it would be to work with these people. “

She was near tears with this as she went on..

“Why?  Did I do something wrong?  How could people not buy?  Maybe it’s an integrity issue with me, or maybe I have some hidden beliefs that made me screw this up.”

The wise marketing mentor listened patiently, and let her go on.

“I thought I knew how to work with the Law of Attraction, but clearly I missed something here.”

At this point, it was too much for the marketing mentor.  She had to jump.

“Stop!”  I hear that you are going down that road, and that stuff may be part of the problem, but do you want to know what the real issue is?”

Startled, the business owner was ready to hear what the problem was because she was so desperate for solutions.

“The real problem is that you had a marketing failure!”

“What?”  Marketing failure?  What do you mean” asked the business owner.

The mentor went on – “Think about it…you have not been connecting with your list regularly.  You absolutely cannot expect your audience to buy from you without first establishing a relationship with them.”

“Really, it’s that simple?  Can you tell me what to do to start establishing those connections?”

“Sure! Here is what you do:”

1.  Consistently get in front of your list.  Weekly is ideal.  Send a newsletter or tip.

2.  Share content that solves their problems.

3.  Be personable and let them know personal details about you so they can connect.

4.  Gradually begin offering them ways to partake of your services.

5.  Start by offering small things – even free teleclasses/articles are fine at first.

6.  Next move into offering low cost ways to have them sample and experience what you do.

7.  Invite other people to promote you to their lists, and repeat the cycle with the new names.

“I can’t tell you how much better I feel!  I will still do the LOA stuff because that’s who I am, but this gives me something I can work on.  Now I have a plan!  Thanks so much.”

The mentor smiled – feeling so happy that she could pass this information on, knowing that it will make all the difference in the world.

So let me out myself here…I am a Karaoke Queen. Yep. I got divorced a few years ago and starting singing. In fact, it’s been a huge metaphor for me about showing up and playing bigger and I’ve written a few articles relating to how karaoke can be transformative.

But I was recently thinking about the ‘vibe’ of the karaoke bar I go to and can see parallels with the business clients I work with, so if you’ll give me some artistic license…I’m going to tie together being in a karaoke club and running a business. (Yes, lots of license is needed here!)

Karaoke is colorful and exciting.

For those karaoke-virgins, here’s how it goes. One quarter of the room will be wonderful singers. The other quarter of the room will be mediocre to crappy singers, and the other half will be folks too scared to get up and sing. But because of the brave souls who do get up, everyone has fun.

Is your business vibrant and inviting? When someone ‘walks’ in to your website, are they the ones who know why they are there and are clear about their purpose? Or are they the lurkers…just tire kickers who want to see what you have to offer? If you want to be successful you have to be clear who your market is and then set up the ‘stage’ so that they can have easy access to you and what you provide. Look at your website, your marketing messages, and all the rest of your communications…does they invite folks to say ‘yes’ to you?

The karaoke host runs the show.

The place I attend has a woman – whom we’ll call “Nancy” as the hostess. She’s like a pit bull with pipes. It’s her room, and you follow her rules! Sure, she’ll support you as long as you are working within her system, but step out of line and you may get spanked (or at least given the evil eye!) LOL.

Are you running your business like a strong business owner/CEO? That means that you have policies in place that stick. Instead of tailoring payment and program offerings to each individual, you should have programs that people fit into and not the other way around. Too many exceptions, changes, and adjustments will make you and your team nuts! Create the systems, and then have the courage to stick with them. It will make you a better business owner and command more respect from your clients. Sometimes it takes the courage to tell a prospective client “no” because they aren’t the right fit, but in the long run it’s really good business practice to have things systematized. Remember, you are in business not only to serve your clients, but also to make your life easier. Do your policies and practices contribute to that?

The karaoke scene brings out all kinds of people.

Wow….that is an understatement. Just hanging out and seeing the variety in age, size, talent, and personality is half the fun. Here are a few of the ‘characters’ from my time in the karaoke bar – see which one you relate to:

Bob – he’s a crowd favorite. Probably because he’s at least 75 years old, sweet as pie and does about the best Frank Sinatra songs you have ever heard. But Bob doesn’t just sing. Bob emotes and expresses with his whole body. Bob is so passionate about being there that he truly lights up the room. People are drawn to Bob just because of his energy.

As a business owner, does your passion and expertise shine? Can people tell you love what you do? When people meet you do they instantly get that spark of greatness in you? Do you have the courage to stand up and say, “I did it my way?” (Pardon the bad Frank Sinatra pun there!) If not, what’s in your way? (If you have some fear or mindset blocks, you may want to schedule a session with me and we’ll blow that puppy out!)

Or maybe you are like this fellow:

Ron – this is the guy who shows up and sings the same song every week: an old Roy Orbison classic. The guy is good, but predictable. He’s actually technically a really good singer, but whenever he opens his mouth, it’s tempting to check out because it’s like a “been there, done that” experience.

Has your content become stale and predictable? If you keep rolling out the same tired stuff, soon your market will turn a deaf ear. Gotta spice it up! Ask what your market is interested in. Visit other blogs, social media sites, do a Google search, and discover new things to offer. Are you coming up with at least two or three new offerings a year? It doesn’t have to be overwhelming – a teleclass, workshop, new report, etc. Keep it simple, but keep it fresh.

Or, you might be like the girl of the group:

Tammy – At least that’s what I think her name is. Because truthfully, she’s a bit timid and so doesn’t have the big presence like the men have. Tammy shows up (at least partially anyway) to sing, but is so quiet that it’s hard to get a read on her. Maybe it’s because her voice isn’t that strong, but when Tammy gets up to sing, she barely has a voice that’s audible. I’d love to coach her to find her ‘inner rock star’ to get herself out in a bigger way. She’d sure enjoy it more.

Is your business invisible? I’ve seen that a lot with some of my clients who are either new in business or haven’t yet landed as strongly on their brand. They tend to operate to be ‘safe’ and don’t put themselves in front of their target markets very often. These are the folks who send out a newsletter only quarterly in fear of ‘pissing off’ their lists. That is one of the #1 biggest business killers. I’d rather have you lose a few people who would probably never buy from you anyway so you can be top of mind to your market. Your goal is to be the first person they think of when they have a problem, so figure out how do you find your ‘business rock star’ mode and MARKET, MARKET, MARKET!

What you really need to do is act like this guy:

Paul – he’s the one who will do Neil Diamond first, an opera piece, and then jump into some crazy Jimi Hendrix song. Is he good? Truthfully, he butchers a couple of notes here and there, but is fearless about trying new music. And he has fun, which is the most important part of the whole thing. Paul is also the one who talks to everyone, plays the drums, dances, and is really fully expressed when he’s out for the night.

How comfortable are you at taking risks? Are you stuck in the thinking that it has to be perfect before you can roll anything new out? Do you get trapped in analysis paralysis for months and months, afraid to make mistakes? Take it from Paul…because folks don’t remember your missteps. They remember you getting up and having a voice. So whatever you are working on, know that you can tweak it later. The goal is to get it out in the world so it can make you money and serve the folks you are supposed to serve.

Well, did I do it? Can you see the correlation between life in the karaoke bar, and life as a coach for small business owners? I see a lot of overlap. My hope is that asking these questions in a playful way got you thinking. Drop me a line and let me know which one of the characters you are!

And if you want to read my other articles about “karaoke lessons” click here.

Now I gotta go get ready for singing tomorrow night. I think I’ll try something new.

by Therese Skelly

Ah, the circle of life. I’m in it. Really working on ‘birthing’ many new elements of my business, and at the same time looking at the upcoming death of my beloved dog, Colby.

In my last newsletter, I mentioned that he had surgery and now he’s having complications which are causing him to slowly deteriorate. It’s been tiring and sad, and again…the stuff of life.

So what do you do if you are ready to go full steam ahead with your goals and then Life throws you a curve ball? Here are my ideas about how to get through with grace…

1. Accept the situation. If you are like me, you can power through anything. We entrepreneurs sometimes thrive on a bit of change and adversity, but running a million miles an hour to get all your tasks done will only cause you more problems later on. The first thing you must do is to accept the emotional, physical, mental or spiritual challenge before you. It took a month of sleepless nights and finally hitting the wall of overwhelm for me to finally realize just how hard handling all of Colby’s health challenges has been.

2. Give yourself the space you need. Is it a good cry? Time to get mad? A night at home with a glass of wine just chilling with a friend? When life gives you a challenging situation, you need even more time to recharge. Tune into your intuition and notice what you desire. What would ‘fill you up’ so you can keep moving through this? This is the time for some self care.

3. Be realistic about your availability. One of my clients lost her dad last year. She spent many hours taking him to doctors’ appointments and was very loving in the way she devoted herself to him in his last months. But her business didn’t take off the way that she had hoped it would. There were many times she would beat herself up for being behind in her marketing tasks, or the calls she was supposed to make. I kept reminding her that taking care of her dad WAS her business right now. So we worked out what she could realistically expect of herself with all the things she was dealing with. The key here is gentleness…

4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Very often if you have a value of putting family first, you can have a successful business, but it will take you longer. So many of my mom-preneur clients compare themselves to the single guy who has no ties and can work 60 hour weeks. Sorry, but if you are going to have a values-driven business, comparison here will only make you fall short. If you are tempted, compare yourself with how in alignment you are being with your own values, and not someone else’s idea of how many hours you should work.

5. Clear your plate. If you are dealing with something ‘big’ then right now is not the time to be doing anything other than what you have to. Really find the places to delegate, say no, or postpone commitments you have made. When I had my ‘melt down’ I realized that trying to be in a 5 day intensive coaching program was just adding to my stress, so I let it go. Did I feel any guilt for quitting? Not really because I felt myself relax and find more peace in that moment. That’s how you know you have made the right d ecision.

6. Get support. A biggie in my book! Who is in your life that you can turn to? Who can help you remember your strengths, show you what is working, and navigate ways through the overwhelm? That’s one of the biggest gifts my clients take away is the knowing that they aren’t alone as I shine a light for them during these times. Another thing to consider is to make sure you are extra aware of sleeping, prayer, exercise, eating well, and finding joy where you can.

7. Stay in the moment. This will end. Everything does. It’s only when we forget that and lose our perspective that we suffer. You can handle anything in the moment. Continue to bring yourself back to right now, and not some time in the future. And if you want to strengthen this concept, read Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is. One of my favorites.

So just know that you aren’t alone…we all go through times in life when we can rock and roll, and other times when we are stalled. Take the long view. Don’t go it alone, and hold on to your vision. You’ll make it through.

© 2008 Therese Skelly

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? Please do! Feel free to reprint this article on your website, own newsletter or message boards as long as you include the following resource information:

©2008 Therese Skelly. Discover a simple, yet surprising secret to getting unstuck in your small business by visiting www.AcceleratingYourSuccess.com and requesting a free copy of the audio, Master Your Mindset to Be the Master of Your Business.

Have you ever wondered how someone really young can be such an “old soul” and have so much wisdom?

I got the chance to see Brendon Burchard again at the Women’s Business Empowerment Summit last weekend. Brendon is about the best speaker I’ve ever heard….and trust me, I’ve heard TONS! Not only is he entertaining and has a great platform of helping people grow by partnering with corporate sponsorships, but he is very soulful in what he’s here to do and the message that he shared.

Brendon is 30. Maybe. He’s written a book called Life’s Golden Ticket which is a fictional account of a man who got a second chance to live. It’s probably based on Brendon’s story which goes something like this….

When he was 19 years old, recovering from a heartbreaking romance, he went to Jamaica to live/work. He was finally coming out of his grief when he and a friend were in a horrific car accident. He spoke of how the whole “Life flashing before your eyes” concept is real, and as their car was careening off a cliff, he had moments of seeing how much love he had experienced.

After they crashed and before he lost consciousness, he got what I call the “Divine Download” and was given these three questions which has become the driver for how he lives his life.

1. Have I lived?

2. Have I loved?

3. Did I matter?

These nine words are very self explanatory, and I invite you to answer them as you begin the self inquiry process.

Have you lived in the way that was in alignment with your values? Are you guarding your heart or have you been able to love freely? And the big question…is what you are doing your soul’s purpose? Did you matter to those around you and to those whom you are here to serve?

My coaching challenge is for you to reflect on these powerful questions and like Brendon, begin to orient your life around them. If you stay in the question, you’ll make the right choices.

And if you want to learn more about Brendon, visit www.lifesgoldenticket.com.

Are you my people? You know the kind – freedom seekers. Going through the world valuing our independence and pursing a quest for more quality lifestyle or self expression.

I’ve really drilled down with what all of this means to me, and I’ve come up with this:

“I am 100% committed to helping entrepreneurs transform the way they do business so they have more peace and prosperity.”

That pretty much sums of what drives me. Why? Here’s how I look at it….

If I can help 100,000 people become successful (over $100K) business owners, what is the ripple effect of that? First, they themselves will be more fulfilled. If they have children, they will be able to take the time to be involved more with their kids or to travel when they want to.

And in the process of becoming a successful business owner, one’s identity is changed. Being successful means you have to step into more of a leadership role. Confidence is developed, vision is pulled forth, and just the managing of one’s inner game with all the challenges takes a special skill that entrepreneurs must master.

What about the economy? It’s my theory that as an employee, if I earn $100K it doesn’t go as far as if a business owner brings in that same amount. Why, because to bring in that much $$ means that the biz owner definitely needs help! There may be employees or virtual assistants, but the revenue is divided up and it trickles down more.

So if you are an entrepreneur….just know how magnificent you are. Know that you are unique in that you have the courage to pursue your dream and often risk ’security’ for the quest for freedom. But oh, aren’t the rewards sweet?