Part two – Finding the Tools to Prevent the Freak Out!

I’ll tell you the business application in tomorrow’s post, but I want you to hear the story of how this all came to be, because it’s pretty funny. Pathetic perhaps, but funny.

A friend and I decided to take our kids to the water park.  To tell you the truth, I was really cranky because it was about a hundred million degrees and I’d rather be anywhere but outside. But I said yes because the boys were super excited to go.

When we got there, we first went to more of the ‘kid-friendly’ area where there were a few teenagers, but mostly people under four feet tall. It was here that I finally decided to just go for it, so I think I did one 20 feet high open slide.  That open piece is the key because being in an enclosed tube in the black was more than my little psyche could handle. Me and the toddlers were content to stay on the baby-ish slides, but my boys wanted to head over to where the real action was.

Now that my kids were on the big slides, my only choice was to stand at the bottom, realizing what I was missing, mad at myself for having these stupid fears, and feeling pretty ridiculous that at age 50, I have this huge limiting thing. That’s where I began to make the decision that I was not leaving until I conquered my fear and did one of the slides, because I just knew that if I could do it, it would lead to a breakthrough somehow.

I found my boys and told them that I needed their help in getting over this fear. Having done most of the slides by now, they decided that I’d do the tubes that were only half way enclosed, but not pitch black. Let the journey begin!  Once decided on the slide, we began to scale what felt like five stories, and the closer I got, the more anxious I became. So anxious in fact, that I was almost hyperventilating! (But thankfully having done the Inner Guru Experience with Molly Luffy, I learned how to use EFT for just those situations!) It actually worked, and I was able to calm myself down enough to get up the stairs.

My ten year old was the one really leading the charge to get me to do this, and his famous coaching command to me (as I was doing EFT tapping like a fool and praying) was to say, “Come on mom, sack up!” Guess that’s boy love or something. Between that, the prayers, the tapping, and mostly my decision that I would not turn back, I did it!

One slide down! I did it and it was absolutely exhilarating. I had been able to conquer all my thoughts and calm myself down.

Now the boys decided to throw me into the black tube of death. (OK, it wasn’t really called that, but felt like it at the time!)

This slide was completely enclosed and totally black except for the last third. There was about a ten foot open space, and then it was enclosed again.

Being in this tube was where it all came clear to me. As I popped onto the inner tube and pushed myself into the water, it was pitch black. And the water was in control. Not me. Then and there I had the ‘a ha’ that this is the very place that business owners fear. Very often we hit places in our businesses where it almost exactly mirrors my experience here.

Tomorrow’s article will share with you the connection with the water slide, business breakthrough’s, and how to set yourself up to have one in any environment.

or “How my 10 year old coached me into getting over my fears and getting with the game of living bigger”

This is a story that I just kept writing and writing and writing, so we’ll break it up into three parts….

What if you could have a breakthrough in the most unlikely of places? What if doing one wild and crazy thing changed the way you experienced your business?

Because we are in some wacky times and almost every business owner I know has been faced with having to figure out how to get and keep clients, and how to best put forward their marketing messages. Since I’m in the middle of yet another rebranding, I’ve been experiencing some of that frustration myself. But it was all about to change….

There I was, finally facing my fears, barreling down one of those enclosed tube-style water slides, when it happened. CLARITY! It’s as if something Divine got revealed to me as I realized what a metaphor this was for not only my business, but for most business owners. Who would have thought that leaning into my HUGE fear of water slides would reveal something so symbolic and profound to me.

In that moment of surrendering to the water and where it was taking me through the black tube – I saw why so many business owners are struggling. Speeding down the tube, I even was able to see a solution! (Sort of like your life flashing before you…except I wasn’t going to the pearly gates, but to the big splash pool at the end.

Tune in tomorrow to hear how I went from a freaked out water-slide phobic mom, to a solid and grounded business owner who ‘got it’ in terms of the flow of life and business.

“What the heck,” the frustrated business owner proclaimed. ” I can’t believe that my program didn’t work.  I did EVERYTHING right.  I had great copy, offered some cool benefits, and solved a problem for my market.  And price was super low.”

“But mostly, I thought I used consciousness in this one.  I prayed about it,  connected to the soul of my prospective clients, and felt all the feelings of how amazing it would be to work with these people. “

She was near tears with this as she went on..

“Why?  Did I do something wrong?  How could people not buy?  Maybe it’s an integrity issue with me, or maybe I have some hidden beliefs that made me screw this up.”

The wise marketing mentor listened patiently, and let her go on.

“I thought I knew how to work with the Law of Attraction, but clearly I missed something here.”

At this point, it was too much for the marketing mentor.  She had to jump.

“Stop!”  I hear that you are going down that road, and that stuff may be part of the problem, but do you want to know what the real issue is?”

Startled, the business owner was ready to hear what the problem was because she was so desperate for solutions.

“The real problem is that you had a marketing failure!”

“What?”  Marketing failure?  What do you mean” asked the business owner.

The mentor went on – “Think about it…you have not been connecting with your list regularly.  You absolutely cannot expect your audience to buy from you without first establishing a relationship with them.”

“Really, it’s that simple?  Can you tell me what to do to start establishing those connections?”

“Sure! Here is what you do:”

1.  Consistently get in front of your list.  Weekly is ideal.  Send a newsletter or tip.

2.  Share content that solves their problems.

3.  Be personable and let them know personal details about you so they can connect.

4.  Gradually begin offering them ways to partake of your services.

5.  Start by offering small things – even free teleclasses/articles are fine at first.

6.  Next move into offering low cost ways to have them sample and experience what you do.

7.  Invite other people to promote you to their lists, and repeat the cycle with the new names.

“I can’t tell you how much better I feel!  I will still do the LOA stuff because that’s who I am, but this gives me something I can work on.  Now I have a plan!  Thanks so much.”

The mentor smiled – feeling so happy that she could pass this information on, knowing that it will make all the difference in the world.

This one surprised me.

I was coaching a woman who is incredibly talented in what she does.  In fact, she’s positioned to make close to a seven figure income in a year, so the gal knows her stuff! Trust me – you’ll know her name very soon as she rolls her marketing out in a big way.

We were working on the elements of her ’squeeze’ page and other items for her new blog.  That’s when it happened.

I said, “Okay, so now what you need to do is to put those things we just talked about in your calendar and get them done.”  She said, “Yeah, but how?”  I said, “You just do it!”

She said, “But Therese, that’s where I break down.  I can’t figure out what to do in what order, so because of that I do nothing.  I need you to help me with that.”

Truthfully – probably not my greatest coaching moment – I giggled.  I couldn’t believe it!  This woman is so powerful and fearless about picking up the phone and getting clients, that I was shocked.  Luckily we have a good relationship and so she said, “I know you are giggling because you see me as really successful and you always see the best in me, but this is where I could really use your help because I always get stuck right here.”

So I took her through the process of deciding what to work on, which order, with how much time, and then to put it into her calendar so it could get completed.  She was delighted, and I had learned something really valuable as a result.

What I learned was that we all have areas where we struggle.  We all can look brilliant and talented on the outside, but experience places in our business where things don’t come easy to us.

For me it’s spreadsheets.  I feel completely ill equipped to work spreadsheets.  They are like doing neurosurgery or something in my book and I look at people who can use the functions (like adding!) as demi-gods who I respect and admire!  I used to say that in my world, before I was an entrepreneur, Excel was a phone company!  This is one of my huge weaknesses.  But do I beat myself up for it?  Maybe playfully, but what I do do is to have an assistant who is a rock star with this stuff so I don’t have to try to slog through it, feeling stupid and frustrated.  I get to focus on what my unique brilliance is.

The morale of the story?  Everyone has both an inner rock star, and an inner goofball who can’t figure out what seems to be the simplest of tasks.  The goal is to not beat yourself, but to get the support around you that allows you to S-H-I-N-E.

I’d love you to share with me your thoughts.  Feel free to post your comments.

Blessings,

Therese

Okay it wasn’t a miracle as much as a breakthrough, but the results of the work are the stuff of miracles.

For me, it was magical confirmation of the power of doing of my Work with clients – allowing them to step into their greatness.  It’s kind of like turning a light on not only in their business, but inside themselves.  That was the case with Kim.

During a recently group coaching call for my Extraordinary Results Coaching Community, Kim called in for some laser coaching.

When I asked what she wanted, she was clear – “I want more belief in myself.”

You see, Kim has had tons of coaching and mentoring, and is truly brilliant.  Except that sometimes she can’t see it for herself, much like most of us.  I think it’s the curse of talented entrepreneurs.  We focus on growing our businesses, but sometimes don’t see just how amazing of results we get.  Or if we see it, we don’t OWN it.

I asked her where she was on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being fully owning her gifts and believing in what she had to offer.  She was a 7.

Here’s where it gets cool!  I asked her to find a spot on the floor in front of her where the “10″ lived.  No, not Bo Derek, but the Kim that is in the future and solidly embracing who she is and has the business that she loves.  She was instructed to slowly walk into the 8, the 9, and finally stand on the spot where the 10 of her belief in herself resided.

She stood there on the phone in her home, as I ‘called in’ for her that level of belief.  I asked her to open her arms wide and just say YES to life, YES to more money, YES to new clients, YES to abundance, and YES to belief.  In fact, everyone on the call was saying YES with her.  She totally got the integration and realized that she does have all she needs, and now had the tools to affirm that for herself.

I asked Kim to write about this experience and two days later, I got this email:

In a group coaching call, I said I wanted to walk away with 100% confidence. During that 15 minutes, not only did Therese boost my belief that I can accomplish my goals, she helped me identify that a missing piece was a willingness to receive what I was asking for.

She gave me the tools to solve that challenge and within 48 hours I received messages from a woman who wants me to teach a class for her online academy (which is filled with members of my target market), a business owner who wants to promote my upcoming teleclass to her entire network, and a multi-millionaire business woman who wants to set up a meeting to learn more about me and what I do.

Coincidence? C’mon! I think it’s simply amazing.

See what happens when we say YES to the Universe?

As a coaching question for yourself, ask what level of belief you have and how much you are allowing yourself to receive.  Bump it up!  See what happens when you do.

And if you want to see what Kim is up to – check this out cuz it’s gonna be good.

“Tweeting for Dollars (For Clueless Entrepreneurs Only)”.

http://readytoevolve.com/trainings/tweeting4dollars.html

Loving My ‘Hate’ Mail

There it was.  Right on my Facebook wall.  Not in a private message to me.  No…on the wall.  The snarkiest comment I’ve ever gotten, just sitting there for the entire FB world to see.

Earlier in the day I had written a status feed asking for some support in picking a title for a new opt in piece, and had ten wonderful folks giving their ideas.  They were kind and friendly and encouraging…all the things I know to be true about my Facebook community.

Then his message came in.  It went like this:

“I wonder, have you ever noticed how incredibly self-absorbed you are?  Everything seems to be about you, even when it appears to be about “helping” others.”

YIKES!!!!!!

In that moment, I had three thoughts running all together.

The first – “Ouch!”

The second – “What a jerk!”  (Ok, I am human and was offended)

The third – “Woo Hoo!…This means my marketing is working”

Thoughts one and two are pretty self explanatory, but this article really is about the third concept – the one that you may not have heard much about, so let me break through some of the myths of marketing here.  We all know that we want our marketing to attract our target clients, right?  But here’s the flip side…

Good marketing serves to REPEL the wrong client.

Most of us spend so much time trying to be all things to all people, hoping not to ruffle feathers, and ‘win’ clients over, that in reality, it serves only to make us invisible.

So when “G” decided to blast me, I took great comfort in that fact because he’s SO CLEARLY not my market that the fact that I pissed him off, means that who I am being is working.  See, I have made the commitment to play very full out.  That means being a bit edgy, singing karaoke, and showing who I am.  It’s all about authenticity.  And I know the “risk” of that.  When you are operating to be safe and not ruffle feathers, you fly under the radar, so would likely never get this kind of blasting.

But…you also never connect deeply with the folks that resonate with your message and appreciate your work.  The ones who need what you have to offer.

In fact, here’s a cool “God-thing.”

One minute after “G” sent this to me; I got this post on my wall:

“Hi Therese,

Just wanted to wish you a wonderful weekend! You are such an inspiration to truly live our dreams – I appreciate all your reminders – you consistently keep us motivated – and in the ‘mindset’. So glad to know you and work with you!”

This person is clearly MY TARGET MARKET so appreciates how I express myself in the world.  That’s what I want for you.  To have your ‘tribe’ clearly find you, connect with you,  and value the work you do.  Oh, then hire you as well!

Now I’m going to challenge you.

Do you have the courage to stop being bland?  Are you willing to take a position?  Trying to ‘play nice’ and get along are the rules we learned in kindergarten.  No great movement can come about when there are not courageous leaders willing to take the hits and speak up from the place of passion inside them.

Here’s my request.

Look at your website, brochures, 30 second commercial, and any other marketing material.  If someone got a hold of it, is it very clear who you serve, who you DON’T, and what you stand for?  What has to shift in you to get out from under the cloud of obscurity?  Trust me….the more you step up and play big, the more we all win.

In fact, I’m so inspired by “G’s” snarky comment that I’d love to help you in any way I can to be able to step up and stand out…and repel the folks you need to repel!  Feel free to send me your website and I’ll be happy to give it a quick scan and give you’re a mini-consult (no fee!) to tell you how you can tighten up your message.

Now go shine your light!

So let me out myself here…I am a Karaoke Queen. Yep. I got divorced a few years ago and starting singing. In fact, it’s been a huge metaphor for me about showing up and playing bigger and I’ve written a few articles relating to how karaoke can be transformative.

But I was recently thinking about the ‘vibe’ of the karaoke bar I go to and can see parallels with the business clients I work with, so if you’ll give me some artistic license…I’m going to tie together being in a karaoke club and running a business. (Yes, lots of license is needed here!)

Karaoke is colorful and exciting.

For those karaoke-virgins, here’s how it goes. One quarter of the room will be wonderful singers. The other quarter of the room will be mediocre to crappy singers, and the other half will be folks too scared to get up and sing. But because of the brave souls who do get up, everyone has fun.

Is your business vibrant and inviting? When someone ‘walks’ in to your website, are they the ones who know why they are there and are clear about their purpose? Or are they the lurkers…just tire kickers who want to see what you have to offer? If you want to be successful you have to be clear who your market is and then set up the ‘stage’ so that they can have easy access to you and what you provide. Look at your website, your marketing messages, and all the rest of your communications…does they invite folks to say ‘yes’ to you?

The karaoke host runs the show.

The place I attend has a woman – whom we’ll call “Nancy” as the hostess. She’s like a pit bull with pipes. It’s her room, and you follow her rules! Sure, she’ll support you as long as you are working within her system, but step out of line and you may get spanked (or at least given the evil eye!) LOL.

Are you running your business like a strong business owner/CEO? That means that you have policies in place that stick. Instead of tailoring payment and program offerings to each individual, you should have programs that people fit into and not the other way around. Too many exceptions, changes, and adjustments will make you and your team nuts! Create the systems, and then have the courage to stick with them. It will make you a better business owner and command more respect from your clients. Sometimes it takes the courage to tell a prospective client “no” because they aren’t the right fit, but in the long run it’s really good business practice to have things systematized. Remember, you are in business not only to serve your clients, but also to make your life easier. Do your policies and practices contribute to that?

The karaoke scene brings out all kinds of people.

Wow….that is an understatement. Just hanging out and seeing the variety in age, size, talent, and personality is half the fun. Here are a few of the ‘characters’ from my time in the karaoke bar – see which one you relate to:

Bob – he’s a crowd favorite. Probably because he’s at least 75 years old, sweet as pie and does about the best Frank Sinatra songs you have ever heard. But Bob doesn’t just sing. Bob emotes and expresses with his whole body. Bob is so passionate about being there that he truly lights up the room. People are drawn to Bob just because of his energy.

As a business owner, does your passion and expertise shine? Can people tell you love what you do? When people meet you do they instantly get that spark of greatness in you? Do you have the courage to stand up and say, “I did it my way?” (Pardon the bad Frank Sinatra pun there!) If not, what’s in your way? (If you have some fear or mindset blocks, you may want to schedule a session with me and we’ll blow that puppy out!)

Or maybe you are like this fellow:

Ron – this is the guy who shows up and sings the same song every week: an old Roy Orbison classic. The guy is good, but predictable. He’s actually technically a really good singer, but whenever he opens his mouth, it’s tempting to check out because it’s like a “been there, done that” experience.

Has your content become stale and predictable? If you keep rolling out the same tired stuff, soon your market will turn a deaf ear. Gotta spice it up! Ask what your market is interested in. Visit other blogs, social media sites, do a Google search, and discover new things to offer. Are you coming up with at least two or three new offerings a year? It doesn’t have to be overwhelming – a teleclass, workshop, new report, etc. Keep it simple, but keep it fresh.

Or, you might be like the girl of the group:

Tammy – At least that’s what I think her name is. Because truthfully, she’s a bit timid and so doesn’t have the big presence like the men have. Tammy shows up (at least partially anyway) to sing, but is so quiet that it’s hard to get a read on her. Maybe it’s because her voice isn’t that strong, but when Tammy gets up to sing, she barely has a voice that’s audible. I’d love to coach her to find her ‘inner rock star’ to get herself out in a bigger way. She’d sure enjoy it more.

Is your business invisible? I’ve seen that a lot with some of my clients who are either new in business or haven’t yet landed as strongly on their brand. They tend to operate to be ‘safe’ and don’t put themselves in front of their target markets very often. These are the folks who send out a newsletter only quarterly in fear of ‘pissing off’ their lists. That is one of the #1 biggest business killers. I’d rather have you lose a few people who would probably never buy from you anyway so you can be top of mind to your market. Your goal is to be the first person they think of when they have a problem, so figure out how do you find your ‘business rock star’ mode and MARKET, MARKET, MARKET!

What you really need to do is act like this guy:

Paul – he’s the one who will do Neil Diamond first, an opera piece, and then jump into some crazy Jimi Hendrix song. Is he good? Truthfully, he butchers a couple of notes here and there, but is fearless about trying new music. And he has fun, which is the most important part of the whole thing. Paul is also the one who talks to everyone, plays the drums, dances, and is really fully expressed when he’s out for the night.

How comfortable are you at taking risks? Are you stuck in the thinking that it has to be perfect before you can roll anything new out? Do you get trapped in analysis paralysis for months and months, afraid to make mistakes? Take it from Paul…because folks don’t remember your missteps. They remember you getting up and having a voice. So whatever you are working on, know that you can tweak it later. The goal is to get it out in the world so it can make you money and serve the folks you are supposed to serve.

Well, did I do it? Can you see the correlation between life in the karaoke bar, and life as a coach for small business owners? I see a lot of overlap. My hope is that asking these questions in a playful way got you thinking. Drop me a line and let me know which one of the characters you are!

And if you want to read my other articles about “karaoke lessons” click here.

Now I gotta go get ready for singing tomorrow night. I think I’ll try something new.

This is an oldie but a goodie!  I’m reprinting it because there are times when we get stuck and have trouble ‘keepin on keeping on.”  You’ll find some inspiration for how to stay focused and moving forward.

Shut up and run!

February 7th, 2007

There are times in your life when you need to keep going, but things get hard.  You know the times.  Maybe your assistant quits, or you are shifting away from your existing model of running your business, so are feeling overwhelmed? You aren’t alone…we’ve all been through it.

How do you keep going when all you want to do is go back to bed and pull the covers over your head?

I was working with a client the other day who was in a similar situation.  She was ready to give up on herself and her dream business because things were hard in the moment.

You want to know what I did that totally shifted her out of that, in about 2 minutes?  (That’s my speciality, by the way…finding where you are blocked.  Guess you could call me a roto rooter for your mind!)

My solution was that I had her remember a time when she felt exactly the same way.  After searching in her past, she told me of a time when she was running a marathon.  As the race wore on, she hit the wall.  She was tired, frustrated, and didn’t think she could keep going,  and at about the 13th mile had her cell phone out and was going to call a taxi.  She was ready to give up on herself.

After she remembered this time in her life, I had her go back to that place, and discover what it was in her that shifted and allowed her to keep running.  Where did the perseverance come from?  How did she move from being in a place of pain, to just giving herself permission to take the next few steps?  She remember that it was a shift in her self talk and that she could come into a place of power JUST FROM DECIDING to make it so! Once she decided, she could persevere, regardless of the pain.  She then had the sweet, sweet knowledge of victory as she crossed the finish line.

I call this your Mount Everest Moment.  Or you can use your Rocky Balboa moment if you are into that.  The moment when you have reached the top of the mountain or run up the stairs, fists pumping in the air, singing the victory song.  We’ve all had them.  I’ll ask you now to think of a time in your life when you had to dig in and pull out strength you didn’t know you had.  The trick is to replicate that.  For my client, her new mantra is, “Shut up and keep running.”  For reals…she’s posted it all over the place, so she’s got an anchor to that time when she was strong and invincible.

What is it for you?  If you could watch the movie of your life and find that frame where you stopped time, blasted through your fear or doubt, and became invincible…what happened?  You can do that in any moment you choose.

I dare you to keep going!!!!!!

Focus on the good,

Therese

OK, here’s the deal…

You are going to spend at least one third to one half of YOUR LIFE working. So why not make it something that gives you joy?

Today’s article is about looking at your business not just as a ‘cash machine’ or a form of revenue generation, but more of something that becomes an extension of you…and your life’s mission. Deep stuff I know, but since we are gonna be putting in all those hours, at the end of the day, let’s find a way to make it matter.

Since this article is not your basic Marketing 101 type of article, I want to set up in the beginning who I’m writing to.

If you are the kind of business owner who understands that in some ways your business is like your ministry, I’m talking to you. If you feel called to fully express your gifts through your business, I’m talking to you. If it’s important to you to serve as many people as you can, I’m talking to you. And if you are passionate about leaving a legacy – then you are my people…So let’s get going…

Business as Your Ministry –

I’m not referencing here the traditional or religious sense of the word ministry. To me it means that you know that your soul’s purpose is being expressed through your business and the services that you provide. One of the definitions of ministry is “the act of serving.” You may be a coach or speaker or own a store. Your work can be done consciously or unconsciously. You can look for ways where you can show up more fully and be of greater service, or it can just be a way to collect a paycheck. You get to decide.

That’s the absolute first step. If you have the sense that your business is like your personal ministry, you stand in the knowing that you are here to serve and are committed to that. From that level of commitment and decision, everything else falls into place.

Fully Expressing Your Gifts –

We are here to make a difference in people’s lives. (OK, that may be my belief, but I like it and am keeping it!) Your business becomes effortless when you express your gifts in the world, instead of trying to be what other people want you to be. This is where fulfillment lives, where passion lives, and its cute little down the street neighbor, Fun, lives!

First you have to know what your gifts are. And a big hint…what you think is easy and comes naturally and likely gets overlooked as “Doesn’t everyone have that?” – That’s YOUR gift. Take an inventory of what you do easily that your clients are really blown away by. Notice your passion-meter. What gets you juiced to talk about or do? Show up more fully in your business and you’ll not only enjoy it more, but you’ll also attract the RIGHT kind of clients who will resonate with your unique energy, AND you’ll also make more money doing it.

Stuck on what your gifts are? Ask! Survey your clients or close friends/mastermind partners and ask what they see that you are gifted at. You will probably be surprised at what they see that you have overlooked. Next – assign a value to what they say that your gifts are. You have to really own how much impact you have, so discovering what your gifts are worth is a huge step in gaining entrepreneurial confidence! When you really get clear about how much value you bring, raising your rates and being paid what you are worth will be easy.

Leaving a Legacy –

What will your footprint be? When you are gone, how will you be remembered? By the lives you touched? For the contributions you made? From the children you so tenderly raised?

Is legacy something that you strive for, or a thing that just happens when you show up and do your work in the world?

It’s my belief that sometimes we get so bogged down with the daily ‘to-do’ list that it’s easy to forget that we are here to make a difference. What would change in your business if you regularly tapped into that place in you that could hold the longer vision of what’s possible.

This legacy stuff on one hand feels a bit big and scary. But on the other hand, it can be energizing when you tap into the knowledge that your ideas and contributions will outlive you. I remember years ago meeting a copywriter and her big dream was “to be an influence.” It hadn’t occurred to me at the time that my scope was any broader that the local folks I was working with, but her soul knew that her purpose here was to influence how people thought and to help them open up to new possibilities.

What will it be for you? It’s not something I want you to ‘work’ at or stress over, but do give it some thought. If you create that new product, can you see the ripple effect? Imagine that 100 people work with you, and that work effects 10 of their friends, and five more down the road, in their networks. Can you see the endless possibilities?

So my wish for you, my dear reader, is to really do some thinking about the meaning of your business and the difference you make in the world because of it. Own your vision in a big way! We need that from you.

I can see it now…..

A room full of grizzly looking, sleep deprived entrepreneurs sitting around wondering what happened to their dreams of success.

One by one they start to share their stories:

“Hi, I’m Amy.  I am an email addict.”  I sit down to work on the projects that would make me money, but every time that email alert pops in, I’m bouncing to check on who could have possibly contacted me.  So by the end of the day, I’m drained, overwhelmed, and have accomplished nothing!.”

Next is Dave, who has the tell tale dark circles under his eyes.  “Hi I’m Dave, and my life has become unmanageable as a result of the distraction of email.  My problem is that I can’t sleep until I know every email is done, sent, or responded to.  Its freaky…in fact, if I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, or can’t sleep, I will head straight to my computer to finish off the email that came in when I was away.  And can I share my biggest shame?  I secretly get a little bummed when it’s about one in the morning and I hit the send/receive button and nothing comes.  I’m a mess.”

But the saddest one of all is Ray, who sits in the corner, barely able to hold his head up.  “Hi, my story is sort of similar but it’s not just email that’s causing me to get off track and waste hours and hours and hours.  Mine is that damn Facebook and Twitter.  In the old days I’d give myself about thirty minutes to ’surf the web’ as we used to call it back then, but with the inventions like Tweetdeck, I’m screwed!  Now it takes all the energy I can muster to get anything done.  And you want to know the worst part of it?  As a coach, when I’m supposed to be listening to my clients on the phone, I secretly pop in and check on the tweets while I should be listening to them.  They are paying me good money, and I can’t even be present because I’m so addicted to distractions.  What they heck should I do?”

Now obviously this is a fictitious “12-Step meeting for email addicts” but many of you will read your own story in the three characters above.

The fist thing I want you to know is that you are probably (unfortunately) among the norm.  We love distractions!  Our cell phones have alarms, our Outlook tasks pop in to alert us, we get reminders of teleclasses, and all sorts of things that intrude on our space.  So what’s a ‘focus challenged’ entrepreneur to do about all this?  I have a few suggestions below.

1.  Turn off the email alert -yes….in Outlook you can stop the function that tells you every time an email pops in.  You may notice a huge void, but that’s the goal!

2.  Discover the cost of being interrupted constantly – I recently got ’spanked’ by my VA.  OK, not literally, but she scolded me because I haven’t yet contacted all the affiliates I need to promote my upcoming Happy in Business Mastermind program.  See I can tell myself the story that I’m so busy, but the reality is that the distraction of email/social media probably cost me at least a weeks worth of work in connecting with people that I need to.

3.  Schedule chunks of time for distractions – Give yourself certain hours where you’ll be on Facebook, certain times you’ll tweet, and certain times you will check your email.  It really is about discipline.   Have you planned your time?  Do you set up a schedule the night before of what needs to be accomplished, or do you just jump on the computer and just start responding to emails?  That is the kiss of death for any hope of productivity, so START NOW.  The deal is that you control your time, and not other people’s calls, requests, or emails.  Think like a singulary focused million dollar business owner.  Would they ‘twitter’ their time away?  Probably not.

4.  Purge, purge, purge -  Do you really need 67 ezine subscriptions?  Take one whole week and everything that you would be tempted to say, “I’ll get to this later” GET RID OF!!!! You can always re-subscribe, but the enormity of getting hundred and hundred of emails a day leads to overwhelm.  (Don’t want to hurt someones feelings by unsubscribing?  Here’s a trick – set up a message rule in Outlook to send their email directly to the delete folder.  That way you don’t have to see it, and they don’t have to know you left their list.)

5. Have an assistant handle your email -This is where I am.  And truthfully, I am FIGHTING this one!  Because I admit that I’m like a crazy email junkie- the more the better in my book.  But I know what it costs me in terms of productivity.  So next week my inbox will be managed by Renee, my ass-kicking VA.  Actually the email won’t even come in to my Inbox.  It may take a few weeks to sort out, but she’ll only send me the high priority items, and the rest will be handled.  Out of sight, out of mind is the key.  Why did I finally surrender here?  Because I know that I will be so much better of a business owner when I’m not distracted and hitting that send/receive button every five minutes.  I’ll be able to do my weekly newsletter, write more articles, and gosh…maybe even have a life.  What a beautiful thing!

Those are my five tips.  Shoot me an email and let me know if you have any other ideas.  (And yeah, I’ll tell Renee to deliver that one to me!)

Blessings,