by Therese Skelly

Ah, the circle of life. I’m in it. Really working on ‘birthing’ many new elements of my business, and at the same time looking at the upcoming death of my beloved dog, Colby.

In my last newsletter, I mentioned that he had surgery and now he’s having complications which are causing him to slowly deteriorate. It’s been tiring and sad, and again…the stuff of life.

So what do you do if you are ready to go full steam ahead with your goals and then Life throws you a curve ball? Here are my ideas about how to get through with grace…

1. Accept the situation. If you are like me, you can power through anything. We entrepreneurs sometimes thrive on a bit of change and adversity, but running a million miles an hour to get all your tasks done will only cause you more problems later on. The first thing you must do is to accept the emotional, physical, mental or spiritual challenge before you. It took a month of sleepless nights and finally hitting the wall of overwhelm for me to finally realize just how hard handling all of Colby’s health challenges has been.

2. Give yourself the space you need. Is it a good cry? Time to get mad? A night at home with a glass of wine just chilling with a friend? When life gives you a challenging situation, you need even more time to recharge. Tune into your intuition and notice what you desire. What would ‘fill you up’ so you can keep moving through this? This is the time for some self care.

3. Be realistic about your availability. One of my clients lost her dad last year. She spent many hours taking him to doctors’ appointments and was very loving in the way she devoted herself to him in his last months. But her business didn’t take off the way that she had hoped it would. There were many times she would beat herself up for being behind in her marketing tasks, or the calls she was supposed to make. I kept reminding her that taking care of her dad WAS her business right now. So we worked out what she could realistically expect of herself with all the things she was dealing with. The key here is gentleness…

4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Very often if you have a value of putting family first, you can have a successful business, but it will take you longer. So many of my mom-preneur clients compare themselves to the single guy who has no ties and can work 60 hour weeks. Sorry, but if you are going to have a values-driven business, comparison here will only make you fall short. If you are tempted, compare yourself with how in alignment you are being with your own values, and not someone else’s idea of how many hours you should work.

5. Clear your plate. If you are dealing with something ‘big’ then right now is not the time to be doing anything other than what you have to. Really find the places to delegate, say no, or postpone commitments you have made. When I had my ‘melt down’ I realized that trying to be in a 5 day intensive coaching program was just adding to my stress, so I let it go. Did I feel any guilt for quitting? Not really because I felt myself relax and find more peace in that moment. That’s how you know you have made the right d ecision.

6. Get support. A biggie in my book! Who is in your life that you can turn to? Who can help you remember your strengths, show you what is working, and navigate ways through the overwhelm? That’s one of the biggest gifts my clients take away is the knowing that they aren’t alone as I shine a light for them during these times. Another thing to consider is to make sure you are extra aware of sleeping, prayer, exercise, eating well, and finding joy where you can.

7. Stay in the moment. This will end. Everything does. It’s only when we forget that and lose our perspective that we suffer. You can handle anything in the moment. Continue to bring yourself back to right now, and not some time in the future. And if you want to strengthen this concept, read Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is. One of my favorites.

So just know that you aren’t alone…we all go through times in life when we can rock and roll, and other times when we are stalled. Take the long view. Don’t go it alone, and hold on to your vision. You’ll make it through.

© 2008 Therese Skelly

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©2008 Therese Skelly. Discover a simple, yet surprising secret to getting unstuck in your small business by visiting www.AcceleratingYourSuccess.com and requesting a free copy of the audio, Master Your Mindset to Be the Master of Your Business.